So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
