the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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