FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
