Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
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