idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize