Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I'm experimenting with sincerity
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
