is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
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