Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
