she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
