Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
