i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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