actually, I'm a sock model
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Randomize
