I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i came on her dog
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Randomize
