Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
