It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
