Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Randomize
