i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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