It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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