jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
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