I love black thongs
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
