we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
