ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I feel like death gave me a hand job
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
