i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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