Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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