nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
