I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
