someone get that fucking seahorse.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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