Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
