Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
