i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
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