I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Randomize
