We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize