Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
