is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
