yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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