idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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