True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
