It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
