all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
