she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
‪Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best. ‬
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
