i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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