I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
