But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
