I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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