I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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