She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
