okay pat passed out under dana's car
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
