I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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