Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
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