Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
