I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
