did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Randomize
