This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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