you mean i was at the winter classic?
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Two words: nipple clamps
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