sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
cat food counts as protein by the way
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
