Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
false alarm, still single
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
