It's like God shit irony all over that family
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Randomize
