please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
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