hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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