Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
My bed smells like the plague
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
