You're so nebulous sometimes
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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