you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I am one with the molecules
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
