She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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