This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
