His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize