3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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